Asking God to reveal Himself to you, I believe, is a prayer He will always gladly answer. Lately I have been feeling like the Lord led me to this place and just left me here. I know that is not true and that the Truth is that He will never leave me or forsake me (Deuteronomy 31:6), but I still feel as though He has left me. (Side note: three things the Lord has been teaching me the last couple of years is that 1. feelings are fleeting; 2. my feelings are valid because God created me to have feelings and emotions; and 3. my feelings don’t change the truth of the gospel.)
All this to say, my prayers for the last few weeks have been for God to reveal Himself to me, to let me know that He hasn’t led me to this point just to leave me here all alone and to make me figure things out by myself. I prayed that He would use people in my life to show me that He is still here with me. I prayed that I would know more than just intellectually that He is still here with me.
And man did He answer those prayers! I think in the back of my mind I was hoping He would use people to show me He’s with me through their financial support toward my ministry, but He typically does what He thinks is best, not what I think is best.
Last Friday afternoon I was flooded with text messages from a bunch of numbers I didn’t know. “Hmmm, this is very suspicious and makes me a little nervous,” I thought to myself. I think everyone gets a little twinge of nervousness when they get a call or text from an unknown number. So just imagine getting ten all at once! To say I was feeling anxious is a bit of an understatement.
Come to find out, all of those unknown texts were from people on my future staff team at UCLA! They have their staff meetings on Friday mornings (which is afternoon on the East coast), and one staff member asked everyone to pray for me and send me some love. It was such a sweet gift from the Lord to receive texts from people I haven’t even met yet letting me know that they’re praying for me and excited to meet me!
In that joyous moment my second thought, (after “Wow this is so awesome! This is making my day!”) was, “Ok God, I see you!” He was answering my prayers to use people to show me His presence in my life. And it’s pretty rare for me to see and recognize God answering my prayers in such an obvious and tangible way. To put it in a more poetic way, it was like God was leaning down from heaven to give me a gentle, loving kiss on the forehead. I am not a crier, but in that moment I may have teared up a little bit!
God continues to show me that He has not left me and that He will never leave me. And remember this: He will never leave you either. I just have to remind myself that He may not show up in the exact ways I want or expect Him to, but He will show up. I’m thankful for a God who not only never leaves me but also constantly keeps me on my toes!
“And behold*, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:20
*In my mind, Jesus was exclaiming this: “Behold!” aka “Hello! Listen up! Remember this!”