Confession: I am a very fearful and (unfortunately) insecure person. Lately I have been feeling really insecure about my writing. I’ve written a few new blog posts, and I’ve been hesitant to post them. I have been allowing the fear of man to rule me, guide me, and dictate my actions in so many areas of my life, not just my writing. I so easily forget that everything I do–whether it’s writing, raising support, sharing the gospel with students, or spending time with friends and family–I do for the glory of God and the furthering of His Kingdom. I do these things because God has called me, commanded me, to, not for the approval or validation of man. The enemy is using my fear of man to deter me from doing the very things God has called me to do. And when I am fearful and not trusting God, I am exactly where Satan wants me.
So by verbalizing my fears and putting them in writing (or type), they lose their power. They go from hiding in the darkest places of my heart to being illuminated by the overwhelming light of Jesus. I pray that saying out loud that I fear man more than I fear God will allow me to recognize the times in my life when I’m doing just that. I pray that the Lord will convict me in the moments when I am not trusting Him. I pray that the Lord will change my heart and allow me to have immeasurable, unending, undying faith in Him, even in moments of fear or insecurity.
Despite my fears and insecurities, by the power and grace of Jesus, I will continue on writing and posting for as long as God wants me to, raising support until the Lord provides the rest of my support and brings me to 100% of my goal, and navigating this crazy life for as long as He as me on this earth. I will do all of these things because God is trustworthy. He is faithful. He is gracious and merciful. He is loving. He is all-knowing. And He is good.